Of Artistry
I played the piano
for too long
but I can’t seem to get anything else done
it’s not complaining
but merely a fact
expressing my self is never an act
I started rocking when I was only 2
but my damn guitar could not stay in tune
a couple years later I had enough
in the heat of the moment I smashed it on the floor
I always give in to the feelings when they come
they never knock
they just come with a storm
keep to myself, never fit with a crowd
they all converse and I will say nothing at all
I have a spear in my lung
that’s where it belongs
a road in my mind
that I choose to ignore
a silence inside
that nobody hears but I
still I try to express it
with a pain in my throat
it hurts when it comes out
the shell that protects my feelings and my thoughts
nobody knows because I never show
but I sing, that’s always been my thing
with this pain in my heart
that I choose to keep there
falling apart, a part of the mystery
rowing my boat
as far as it goes in the dark
hope that the sun will come back up
The Antidote is a melody
The soul is screaming in my stone
I never thought we would be here
I dream (of) a life that’s far away
I’m always sure I will get there
but sometimes I doubt myself
I hate that part of me
the only cure is a melody
it’s comforting, that’s all…and wonderful
I know my place, I was born into it
and the many ways it controls me
but in the mirror there’s a question mark
after all these years, I’m still new to this
what I want and what I need
are two separate things heading the same way
sometimes I just wanna cry
but I never do, that’s all
just wonderful…
and suddenly the world implodes
impossible to explain
I never really had the chance
to look inside, it never will be the same
Að Ljósinu
Líf í mér er það eina sem ég þekki
líf með þér er það eina sem ég vil
þrái og trúi að þú mig þekkir
geri hvað sem þú vilt
haltu í mig því mér veitir til að falla
inn í nóttina þegar myrkrið kallar
brennandi ör ég hef borið alla tíð
draugur sem eignaðist líf
ég komin er
á stað sem að enginn sér
nær er komið nóg?
nær get ég fylgt þér inn að ljósinu?
grímu ég hef og ég ber á hverjum degi
þögull ég er þar til ég hef eitthvað að segja
ígróið sár sem ég hef haft alla tíð
draugur sem eignaðist líf
ég komin er
á stað sem að enginn sér
nær er komið nóg?
nær get ég fylgt þér inn að ljósinu?
Getting Lost
Flowing down the other ways
that I chose to ignore
dreaming of better days
I hope there will be more
I’m getting lost in a beautiful thought
I’ve got lots of them
but getting lost is a slippery slope
‘cause some of my thoughts are damned
what ever I choose to do
the price is there to pay
where ever I choose to go
I know I’ll lose my way
what ever I choose to do
the price is there to pay
the same old illusions
will lead me astray
breathing helps to keep me sane
I breathe deeper every day
but right now I feel nothing at all
because I self-medicate
and I’m getting lost in a beautiful thought
just thinking the time away
but getting lost is a slippery slope
bound to end my days
what ever I choose to do
the price is there to pay
where ever I choose to go
I know I’ll lose my way
what ever I choose to do
the price is there to pay
the same old illusions
will lead me astray
The Void
A long time ago I got so terrified
I chose to let go, leave the light
I didn’t want to see, it had traumatised me
so I found the deepest hole
and snuck in the corner
now that part of me
has grown up to be a tyrant
lurking here constantly and spreading his anxiety
how on earth can you dig so deep
that the light can’t reach from the stars?
building the void was an easy task
but I can’t quite tear it apart
how on earth can I dig so deep
that the light can’t reach from the stars?
building the void was an easy task
but I can’t quite tear it apart
the severed piece of me
took its own life
and it gained a new path
in the absence of light
every now and then
I would feel its presence
in the corners of my mind
but now it’s the essence
beside my faith in all good things to prevail
I’ve got nothing to reason with
as it has appeared, eyes locked on me
how on earth can you dig so deep
that the light can’t shine from the stars?
building the void was an easy task
but I can’t quite tear it apart
how on earth can you dig so deep
that the light can’t shine from the stars?
building the void was an easy task
but I can’t quite tear it apart
In my Lungs
I wonder if this dimension is a part of my mind
slowly it’s been creeping up and coming from behind
I never thought I’d stand here in the dust you left behind
never thought I would become this way
always looking over my shoulder as I fall behind
oh what I would give just to make it go away
comfortable with getting wasted
drunk, alone, in the basement
oh what I would give just to make it go away
and I’m breathing in
but not feeling it
no matter how deep I inhale
how are you so far away when I have you in my lungs?
you disappear into the void and you’ve done so all along
how are you so far away when you should be in my heart?
it shouldn’t be this hard to get the breath in or feel the love
staring at the screen as I gently fall asleep
I did not mean to go this far but perhaps I’m in too deep
I miss the times, the good old times
where everything was sound
even when you were around
when I was a little boy
breaking all the rules with joy
in a town in which my heart is forever bound
now I’m in the country side
growing old and feeling tired
my family in the home
and I am out here on my own
just breathing air
but not feeling it
how ever deep I inhale
how are you so far away when I have you in my lungs?
you disappear into the void and you’ve done so all along
how are you so far away when you should be in my heart?
it shouldn’t be this hard to get the breath in or feel the love
I Carry On
stuck in my throat now
words I never said
I’m about to choke out
seeing stars on red
the weight of the sky is
pushing me down
but still I’m not worried
I know I’ll be around
I know I love my wife and daughter
so I carry on, I carry on
I know I love the sun and summer
so I carry on, I carry on
I know I love my son and daughter
so I carry on, I carry on
life is not a bitch, she’s a queen
but your misunderstanding makes her seem mean
and your need to control is just obscene
stuck inside the machine
it’s like life loses colour
everything turns grey
I wonder if my forefathers
if they felt the same
I know I love my wife and daughter
so I carry on, I carry on
I know I love the sun and summer
so I carry on, I carry on
I know I love my son and daughter
so I carry on, I carry on
I know that friends will make you feel warmer
so I carry on, I carry on
until I don’t, then I’m done…
The Other Side of the Floor
This is a lot to take
all the chaos that my mind creates
I need a lot of fake
fake smiles to get by anyone
this is the world that I know
and I’ve found some tricks to help me to cope
the side effect of it
is that it stops my soul from growing
I can not hide anymore
I’m on the other side of the floor
I know I will return
but this is how I…
this is how I learn
I know I drink all the wine
I know I disappoint you all the time
but your light is stronger than mine
I can’t compete but I’m always trying
I can not hide anymore
I’m on the other side of the floor
I know the pain that I caused
can you still love me?
can you still love me more?
I can not hide anymore
I’m on the other side of the floor
I know I will return
but this is how I…
this is how I learn
Awareness
I’m digging into my past
below the silver ash
beyond all the days that I felt
lost in the wilderness of my thoughts
and there lies a part of me
who wants the whole world to see
the beauty inside of this soul
but I know now this soul is not my own
I’m not learning alone
I’m not learning alone
but I’m learning along the way
which is my home
and we all belong to the light we’re thriving on
if there was an easy way
a way from the misery
I don’t know if we would have taken it anyway
‘cause the ego loves victory
defeating the enemy
spreading beliefs all around this earth
so fiercely
but I’m not learning alone
no I’m not learning alone
but I’m learning along the way
which is my home
we all belong to the light we’re thriving on
we all belong to the light we’re thriving on
we all belong to the light we’re thriving on
we all belong to the light we’re thriving on
Ragnar Zolberg 