The Circle

Fairy Tale

I can’t stop what I think
can’t stop what I feel
something really deep
black or darker still
I’ve never been this strong
I’ve never been this old 
living in a fairy tale 

please don’t be afraid
this is a good way
we’ll let the eyes decide
if it’s the right time
we can always go away
and peacefully live in our fairy tale
walking in the sky

walking mountains high
flirting with the stars
imagine that we fly
if we do not care
if they laugh or stare
we’re living in a fairy tale

there always is a better way
but if were changed it wouldn’t be the same
there always is a better word
but when you speak
it’s just good enough

(I won’t be alone this time, neither will you)

The Beat

As you kept the bird moving
on the moon where its wings are not enough
I watched as you lingered
but we all waited for the angels to come

I never really knew how much it could hurt
what does it mean when you say that you’re leaving for good?

I still believe that you are here
but I’m sure that no one would agree
sometimes I can hear you speak
(and I know) I’m not ready to let you go

as you got worse and we were growing
we never knew when you’d go
nothing at all…
and when you fell to the floor
the angels saved you forever more

I never really knew how much it could hurt
what does it mean when they say that you’re “gone” ?

I still believe that you are here
but I’m sure that no one would agree
sometimes I can hear you speak
(and I know) I’m not ready to let you go

I’m not ready to let you go

I still believe that you are here
but I’m sure that no one would agree
sometimes I can hear you speak: I’m always near
I still believe that you are here
but I’m sure that no one would agree
sometimes you are that I see
(but I know) I’m not ready to let you go

Hear as I’m Calling

I’m turning around, away
there’s no more pain to take away
whine had its purpose at the time
but I am over that now

a memory got me through
you kissed me as we said goodbye
and off I went into the night
but I am coming back now
I am coming back home to you

hear as I’m calling
just as I promised
love I have been so alone without you

I am a threat to them
the evil forces that want me dead
‘cause god is inside of me
and I am growing stronger
no more breaking in two
the key to happiness is…

now I won’t get confused anymore
it’s been a long way love
but down and back, I made it through

hear as I’m calling
just as I promised
love I have been so alone without you

wash away the lies and come back alive
once I control my mind
I will never falter
I’ll never, never, never go back

Lover

we’re together every single day (I’m yours always)
even if it’s only in my mind (defenceless I bleed)
in everything we do we have our own way (no one understands at all)
and every time we do it’s never the same
I tried to make it fit into your world
‘cause right angles don’t make angels feel like home

lover you’re the sun
lover you’re the only one

forming from a square into a circle of our own
it’s forever, forever
here I hold my heart and I am giving it to you
lover, lover of mine

cleansing everything that was in the way (leave us alone)
always cleaning something else each day
I’m sorry that I hurt you so bad (I never meant to)
I guess that only I can make it good again (and hell I will)

lover you’re the sun (and I’m the moon of us)
lover you’re the only one 

forming from a square into a circle of our own
it’s forever, forever
here I hold my heart and I am giving it to you
lover, lover of mine

lover, sunshine

Where are the Flowers?

when I was born I was not so free
crying and kicking, scared of this shit
never understood, why all this concrete?
where are the flowers they promised me?

I knew I had to find
someone who listens
someone who understands when my voice goes missing
please come along
I’ve waited impatiently…. but that’s not enough

I know I have to be sure
‘cause if it’s not right it hurts even more

I am one
but I don’t think I’m supposed to be alone
I’m really strong
but I just feel like I need to be yours

falling asleep with you in my arms
I know I’ll be safe, free from all harm
listen to the blood
it’s whispering your name
you are the flower I thought you’d be
knowing that you’re mine
knowing that you care
leaves all self-doubt and troubles out there
here in this house, within concrete walls
you are the flower that enlightens me

I know that I’m really sure
if I’m not right, I know nothing at all

I am one
but I don’t think I’m supposed to be alone
I’m really strong
but I just feel like I need to be yours

Soulmates

I’ve seen many things
I’ve done it all before
it doesn’t get better than this
a house of our own and the children all grown
family, you will be missed

it’s been a long time and now I’m waiting to die
I must say that I’m a little scared
but you say don’t worry, it will be ok
and darling you’ve always been right

first thing every morning
I lay my eyes on you
I wouldn’t have done all these things that I hoped for
if it wasn’t for you

I’ve heard many songs 
I’ve played it all before
but it’s all gone with the past
after tonight then so will I
it’s strange but I’ll never be back
I fought this decease with will and strength
that war is just about through *
when that happens I’m lucky enough
to have you all by my side

first thing every morning
I lay my eyes on you
I wouldn’t have done all these things that I hoped for
if it wasn’t for you

*(dad was buried in a John Lennon t-shirt saying “War is Over”)

Tombstone

down in the cit by the bay
where the city force meets the ocean god
struggling to keep the balance safe
between greed and love
my heart always looked to the sea
as it would beat within the walls
no chance of breaking free
just pounding on the walls

I got too weak for my own weight
lost body control
broken by the concrete ground
my feet gave in in the dark
this would overcome me
‘till I couldn’t walk and I lost the beat
knowing that my heart was on the way
to meet the ocean gods

I will not only be a memory and a tombstone
you know that living isn’t even half the fun
even if death feels wrong
it keeps us moving…

I’ll wait here for you
until the rain is down
here I am 
in this no place at all
until it gets you
just like a birth in reverse
here I am
in this no place at all

facing down I shook
cold and scared of my own look
struggling to keep my head up
to watch the sun go down
it’s weird how it goes away
and it appears for someone else
night time, day time 
we need both to keep the balance safe

I was too weak for my own good
I would leave the body soon
infected, poisoned, fading grey
nothing I could do
but hold my head up straight
with will and serenity
(then) I felt my body weight
letting go of me

I will not only be resting in a cemetery
in a box that won’t open up again
eaten up by maggots
a dead body is not a man
I will not only be a memory and a tombstone
you know that living isn’t even half the fun
and even if death feels wrong
it keeps us moving…

I’ll wait here for you
until the rain is down
here I am 
in this no place at all
until it gets you
just like a birth in reverse
here I am
in this no place at all

Our Beloved Bleeding Sun

the sun bleeds our home
blood is flowing
earth is not alone
hollow, pale and torn
without even knowing
trapped in a stone

sing for me sing!
a new day’s song keeps us clean
hiding in a dream
they don’t know it
but they’re being seen

I may bleed when the rain needs sleep
and if I bleed too long
I’ll sing you a song through the rays of the sun

A Fantastic Piece of Architecture

a man on the hill
gazing down the hillside
his look of lost and lonely feeling
he waits for the wind
to catch the grass behind him
his look is oh so revealing

such a fantastic piece of architecture
fantastic piece of architecture

people came from miles
captured by it’s beauty
they said – “The work of a master”
where have they gone?
the people of the county
they know their time is running faster

for such a fantastic piece of architecture
fantastic piece of architecture

they’ve taken away the dreams of yesterday
they’ve taken away the dreams of yesterday

sixty years have gone
and gone is it’s beauty
they know they must go inside
birds live on the eaves
and paint peels from the ceiling
the smell of death is inside

such a fantastic piece of architecture
fantastic piece of architecture

that man on the hill
he’s walking down quite slowly
he knows he must go inside
through huge open doors
he feels that breathless feeling
he lays on the floor and he dies

in his fantastic piece of architecture
fantastic piece of architecture

he dies

Healing

always awake and always free
dancing around where eyes don’t see
moving in distance waves
always awake and always free

this is where my spirit grows
like a bird I sing along
music is the reason why
I understand what’s inside of me

when the time will come
I will be superior
but first I must know right from wrong
from a child I’m always growing

Echo of Stains

alone I sit with my regrets and the ringing in my ears
a fading man who just started to care
the glitter on the window 
reminds me of a time 
when the thought of being like this did not exist

oh well

there always was a way 
I neglected

constantly waiting
didn’t know who I was
looking for the answers in the dark
but what I saw and what I touched
burns me even still
every I hated in others

oh well

I always find a way if I have to
time is all it takes
to find a new hope that doesn’t break
I just don’t believe that there isn’t more than this…
round and round the echo of stains

the inner child’s innocence listens to its heart
while the outer man keeps going into the dark
when all the paths seem to be shut
is when the struggle ends
the child no longer cares about the man

oh well
I always find a way if I have to
time is all it takes
to learn from our mistakes
I just don’t believe that there isn’t more than this…
round and round the echo of stains

hope to find a less shattered mind