5. You address the bellman as “wow thank you sir!”
4. The reception hall is so nice looking that you have to stop and take a picture in case nobody believes you.
3. You wash your underwear and socks in the bathroom sink.
2. You have an empty minibar because they know you’re not good for it.
1. This is what you leave on the antique mahogany writing desk.
Ragnar Zolberg 